The Adventures of Coolie Coolstein: Episode 67
Coolie loves Thanksgiving. It’s his favorite holiday. He’s a thankful kind of guy but he really embraces gratitude on this day. Here’s how he puts it:
I’m so grateful for the known universe. Sure, there are the occasional issues or challenges…
Finding a look…and then a new one
Dealing with the parental units
Accidentally doing mushrooms
Whether to hat or not to hat
Pondering what is this thing called “cool”
Doing acid on purpose
Surviving the uncooling
Encounters with Shtew/The Oracle
Becoming a radish and considering immortality
Flying Jet Green
Gardening with Chauncey
Watching out for armadillos
Opening the Shop
Enduring the intercosmic cracker
Escaping the Chillsteins
Doing The Next Thing
Getting too hungry and losing his cool
Managing Mickey Mental in a jellyfish deficit
Defeating The Evil One (Yukky Yukstein)
Hurtling through time and space with Samuella Stuckup
Being the President of the US of A
Giving up the White House and living through Blue’s hissy fit
Interacting with the Ganglifavinoids and his father, DaddythebigDaddywhoseyourDaddy
Meeting the Relatives
The Book Tour
Boinging around Plaxinatinoni
Coming to terms with guilt
Whooshing to a galaxy far far away
Playing the stock market (with Brownstein’s help)
Navigating a full-on identity crisis and coming out
Resorting to brown
But I’m having as much fun as the son of Mothership and DaddythebigDaddywhoseyourDaddy could possibly have. There’s Blue, she’s gorgeous and I think she’s wise too. Who really knows about that? Who am I to judge, right?
I’m thankful for Mickey. He’s my best friend and when the jellyfish are running – no one can out-think him. He’s game for everything. What a pal!
How can I begin to tell you how thankful I am for Brownstein? She’s a genuine wizard, you know! She’s magic and a total sweetheart, too. And how cute is she?
Well, I’ve got it really good. I’m thankful for my adventures. I’ve never been bored. Well, just once, and that led to him finding some time travel tea, which I am very thankful for – it’s a global unifier and a really zippy ride.
I’m grateful for Sylvie and Morris – their mishigos has added spice to life. It’s added other things too, but this is not the time to complain.
I’m thankful for horse drawn carriages. I just thought I’d throw that in. Glad that hasn’t ended. I mean, what’s more New York than a carriage ride through Central Park?
I’m thankful for the Macy’s Parade. I know I can’t speak for you, but isn’t it THE COOLEST THING EVER? I’m leaving in a few minutes to go watch them blow up the balloons. Someone told me this year there’s a Coolie Coolstein float. Could that be true?
I’m thankful cause I just heard that there’s a singer named Carrie Brownstein. Doesn’t that prove that everything is connected? And that’s really really what I’m thankful for – connection. Without that, I wouldn’t be cool – I’d be cold. Really cold.