THE SCHOOL FOR JEWISH MOTHERS

Here’s a book idea I’ve been toying with. I may never write it, (who knows? vu den?) but I think the outline is worth sharing. Let me know what you think:

THE SCHOOL FOR JEWISH MOTHERS or

My head’s in the oven, the gas in on, but don’t worry about me.

Course Curriculum

  1. Kvetching
  2. Shaming
  3. Force-feeding
  4. Guilt (Master’s level course available)
  5. Inducing insufficiency
  6. Inducing dependence
  7. Abandonment and overconnection: the duality
  8. Boundary-less-ness
  9. Intrusiveness
  10. Masochism (the illusion)
  11. The many variations of “oy”

Prerequisites

  1. Sore feet or a little arthritis
  2. The ability to whine on command
  3. The ability to kill with a look
  4. No sense of humor
  5. A flair for the obvious
  6. The uncanny ability to sense vulnerability

Phrases to live by

  1. Eat a little something. I thought it was your favorite…what am I, wrong?
  2. Don’t worry about me. It’s okay if I’m all alone.
  3. I did everything for you and this is how you repay me?
  4. You should only know.
  5. Don’t ask.

 

 

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